Musings of a Church Girl – Part 3 - Disappointments

 

This is the third in a short series of blog posts about being raised a church girl and those who influenced me along the way. The “Church Girl” theme of a recent women’s conference at my church acknowledged the stereotype that labels a church girl with a long list of unrealistic expectations. And it clarified the real definition that a church girl is imperfect and accepted and called whatever God calls her.

One of the women that influenced this church girl was Mary. She was a member of the small church my family were a part of. She and my mom became good friends, so we spent a lot of time with her. She probably never knew about the big life lesson I learned from watching her just live her life.

Mary taught me that life doesn’t hold back on disappointments just because you are a church girl. Overhearing conversations between Mary and my mom, I gathered that life was hard for her. She had been through a divorce. She worried about a son in the military. She had bills to pay. Her car broke down. She hadn’t had a vacation in a long time. Her pain wasn’t like people who have the heart wrenching loss of a child or a debilitating health problem. It was a duller ache, the one that comes from a string of disappointments.

I’m sure there were disappointments in my parents’ lives too, but the norm at our house was to keep the problems behind closed doors. It’s probably healthier to let your kids see that everything isn’t perfect all the time. But if you didn’t get that from your parents, maybe you saw that from your Mary. What I saw in my Mary was a contrast. She had worries that left lines in her brow. And she had joy that smacked with the rhythm of the chewing gum in her mouth. She had the joy of the Lord at the same time she felt sadness over life’s disappointments.  Life disappoints church girls too.

Thank you, Mary, from one church girl to another. It turns out that life isn’t ever perfect for church girls. I’ve had some disappointments, but like Mary and Nehemiah “the joy of the Lord is my strength.” [Neh 8:10, CSB] And it turns out that kind of strength is a long distance strength.

I hope my memories have jogged yours. If you are a church girl, who helped make you one? Think beyond the ‘praying grandmother’ and those whose job was to mold you. What about those with a more distant or brief encounter? Who influenced you? Who are you influencing now?