Four Ways to Repair What We Can’t Unsay

Sometimes we see things that we wish we could unsee. And sometimes we say things that we wish we could unsay. We all say things we regret in moments of anger, frustration, or even unhealthy levels of transparency.

When our children were young, we had a family devotional on the permanency of what we say. We gave each child a paper plate and full tube of tooth paste and asked them to squeeze the entire tube  onto the plate. They had a blast doing their assignment!! You know what came next. When they finished, we said “Ok, now put it all back in the tube.” Words are like that.

Words carry weight.

Spoken or written, words weigh in on the heavy side.

Hurtful words can have crushing weight. 

Words cannot be unsaid.

We can try to keep our words from doing damage with a few prevention practices.

Practice saying less.

Listen more. Talk less.

Use brevity.

The more words you speak, the less they mean. So what good are they? [Ecc 6:11, NLT]

Pause before you say it.

Count. Take a breath.

Find a softer way to say it.

Decide not to say it at all.

The heart of the godly thinks carefully before speaking; [Prov 15:28a, NLT]

Kind words are like honey – sweet to the soul and healthy for the body. [Prov 16:24, NLT]

Wise words bring approval, but fools are destroyed by their own words. [Ecc 10:12, NLT]

But when you say something you regret, here are four ways to try to make repairs.

Own the mistake

When I said … to you, I was wrong.

Apologize                                                               

I’m sorry. [period – no buts]

Empathize

That must have made you feel …

Ask forgiveness

Will you forgive me?

These four actions won’t put the toothpaste back in the tube, but they will clean up some of the mess. Give it a try. It may feel awkward. But it may mend a wound in a relationship.