Three Ways to Shift Perspective

My family moved to south Texas when I was three and a half. I have a vivid memory of my parents discovering Spanish moss shortly after our move. It hung in large bunches off the branches of trees. Dad saw it as a disgusting invasive nuisance on his trees. He wanted to get out the ladder and start cutting the pesky stuff off. Mom looked at it and saw beauty.  She loved the graceful way it swayed in the breeze, dangling from the branches. And she imagined what an artistic base it could be in her next floral arrangement.

Perspective.

That word has received more attention lately.  Authors have written about shifting perspectives. People have picked it for their word of the year. Changing perspective is hard. It’s easier to look at the world through my own natural lens, even if that lens is short-sighted or pessimistic or self-centered. But challenging ourselves to see a problem from a different angle opens our minds.

Here are three ways to make a shift in perspective work for you.

1)        Perspective helps you see the forest.

One of the most common shifts in perspective is to back away from a situation and look at it from a distance. We can put the problem tree in perspective and realize it is just one part of a big forest. Taking a vacation from a stressful job gives us this kind of perspective. After we recover from a major injury or illness, we have a different perspective on each good day of health.  A mantra can remind us of perspective. We adopted the phrase ‘it’s just stuff” in our family whenever someone broke or lost something. It didn’t take away the pain of the loss, but re-framed it, reminding us that life is bigger than things. Other losses can take out a whole section of our life like a ravaging forest fire.  The broken heart. The death of a loved one. The strained relationship. Perhaps time is the only way to create enough distance to put your “life after” in perspective. However you can, create some distance. One day you’ll see the beauty of the forest again.

2)        Perspective helps you walk a mile in their shoes.

I’ve found the highest barrier to good communication is sticking too hard to my point of view. I’m fond of my own opinion. I tend to think my way is the right way. So in my marriage, my first attempt at resolving disagreements is to convince him I’m right. When that doesn’t work – ok that NEVER works – then I put in the effort to see things from his perspective. My husband loves road travel. I’m a whiny car traveler. So for years when he brought up road travel, I blew him off with “when you get your next wife.” After I finally attempted to put my feet into his road warrior shoes, I realized how important it was to him. And that motivated both of us to discover some options for me to be a better road traveler. And that explains why I’m sitting on the couch in our new motorhome writing this blog post. It also explains why Dad climbed a tree once to cut down a bunch of Spanish moss for Mom’s floral arrangement.

3)          Perspective helps you grow up.

The ability to change perspective is a sign of maturity. We’ve all encountered adults stuck in a rut who just can’t see a different possibility. Perspective shifts are healthy to emotional maturity. There is no perspective change that compares to the spiritual maturity boost when we look through God’s eyes. Colossians 3:1-2 in The Message translation says:

So if you’re serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don’t shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ – that’s where the action is. See things from his perspective.

Ahem…. Excuse me while I un-shuffle my feet and elevate my gaze.

What is the one perspective shift you want to make this week? Will it help you see the bigger picture? Or increase your appreciation of another’s point of view? Or strengthen your spiritual eyesight?

When Dread Departs

Dread is a form of fear. The slow dull kind of fear.

It hangs around like a dust bunny. Sometimes it goes unnoticed in the background. Sometimes we catch a glimpse of it scooting around in the wind. Sometimes it gets caught in the corner, begging to be swept out.

We all experience dread. Little dreads like the wait until the first ding on a brand new car. Big dreads like watching a chronic disease slowly progress. Bigger dreads like wondering how you will live without the person you just laid to rest.

The fascinating thing about dread is that it departs the moment the thing we dread comes to pass.

One of my longest running dreads was the 19 years between my mother’s breast cancer diagnosis and mine. But that dread got up and departed when it was replaced with the reality. When dread departs, it can be replaced with even greater fears. But its departure can also bring relief because fighting can beat dreading.

A man named Job knew dread. He lost almost everything precious to him in increasing order. First his material wealth, then his kids, and then his health. And he summed up his despair with:

For the thing that I fear comes upon me, and what I dread befalls me. [Job 3:25 ESV]

When the thing happens, we no longer have to fear that it will happen. And dread departs.

I suppose it would be even better to sweep the dread dust bunny out of the corner long before it has a chance to depart on its own. Some form of “Do not fear” appears in the Bible over 350 times. When I read these instructions, I usually think of the more intense fears, like worry and panic. But at least once, God specifically included the dread form of fear.

‘Hear O Israel, today you are drawing near for battle against your enemies: let not your heart faint. Do not fear or panic or be in dread of them, for the LORD your God is he who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies, to give you the victory.’ [Deuteronomy 20:3-4 ESV]

If there is a dread blowing around in your world, don’t BE in it. Don’t stay in it. Give it a flick. And know that the LORD your God goes with you. Dread will usually depart eventually, but it can leave even sooner as we walk with Him.

In Their Likeness

Several years ago, I sat on a familiar Saturday flight from Amsterdam to Houston, returning from a business trip. I usually worked on my laptop the morning of the 11 hour flight and then enjoyed a movie over lunch, before an afternoon nap to help adjust back to my timezone. The movie ended before I finished my lunch.  After the  credits scrolled by, my screen went blank. I continued eating. Then I glanced up and there on the blank screen was the image of my mother's mouth chewing her food, in my reflection.  Wow! I guess we do all become our mothers, don’t we?!

My mom had died the year I turned forty. And the older I got, the more I recognized her in my expressions and mannerisms. We had a good relationship and I admired her. So even though I wasn’t trying to be like her, I was ok that I was taking on her likeness in small subtle ways. It was natural, because I inherited her likeness. I have her great skin. I’m missing ear lobes that she also lacked.. I sigh the same. I laugh the same. I can be too critical, like her.. I roll my eyes like her. And I sing the same lullaby to  my grandbaby as she sang to hers. I’m more than ok with taking on her likeness as I get older.

I have another parent whose likeness I’m chasing. My heavenly Father’s. I think David felt this way when he said:

As for me, I shall behold your face in righteousness; when I awake, I shall be satisfied with your likeness. Psalm 17:15 [ESV]

I know I won't have His complete likeness until I meet Him face to face. But sometimes His character just pops out when His Spirit lives out loud in me. He, who has no imperfections, covers my imperfections with His grace. Being like Him isn’t something I can do through my own efforts, but through His power. I’m His daughter, so His likeness just shows up sometimes to show off His name. But other times, I feel so unlike Him. Because He is so righteous – so full of rightness. And my humanity is so full of wrongness. 

When I was growing up we sang an old hymn that said ‘To be like Jesus, to be like Jesus; On earth I long to be like Him.’ As a girl, I sang this with the thought that I just had to try harder, to be better, to put forth enough effort to be as good as Him.

Now I realize that when I put my faith in Him, He began a new work in me. As I received His Spirit, He began renewing me in His image.

and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator. [Colossians 3:10]

I can never be good enough by myself, but I am being changed – transformed – into His image, His likeness, His reflection.  

Let me grow and change and age into their likeness. Mamma’s and the Lord’s.